Obama Calls for New Spirit of Innovation
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Learning (Positive/Negative Ratios)…
My enhanced learning today is on the effects of poetry and positive/negative ratios in behavior modification (learning new, positive, effective behaviors to replace old, negative, ineffective behaviors). It is critical to understand that to work on others, one must have a consistent pattern of working to improve self first. Otherwise, the perception of hypocrisy could undermine efforts.
Having a child who was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, I have constantly struggled for the balance. Too much positive was as damaging as too much negative. Boundaries had to be strict and immovable. From this, I learned a great deal about human behavior and how to change it. It is evidenced in the teams I have developed, the people I have shared relationships with and my own internal and external outlook.
To pay the bills, I am headed to work now, but throughout the day, I am going to note my observations. Interestingly enough, if I had an audience or community that were interested in the real-time observations, I might feel the obsessive desire to Twitter what I experience. Perhaps a 140 character message will result from this. Perhaps a poem or other artistic creation will develop. Oh, well. I just learned how to set the time on this blog, I am just learning how to order these pages and posts and ultimately, I now understand why bloggers just “abandon” blogs and leave them to the cyberspace wasteland.
Back on topic, today, my learning is to track how many positive, neutral and negative interactions that I have. This information will be used to determine if I need to work on my ratios and at which interval. Neutral interactions are simply neutral. Hopefully, my interactions (measured by end feelings by both parties) will be in at least the 5 to 1 range. This is critical for being able to parent, modify behaviors and even develop, mentor and lead teams.
Welcome to tomorrow…things are not as promised….lol
I am laughing at self again. I have had several recent discoveries and the most profound is that bloggers blog when, how and about what they want. I wish that my FEAR FACTOR had disengaged 10 years ago instead of when I hit “bottom of the barrel” last year. My FEAR FACTOR prevented me from understanding the important of self-awareness and the ever elusive “higher-level of awareness”. This higher-level of understanding for me has resulted in material collapse, but immaterial gains in my relationships with my loved ones.
Take for example my son. He has had learned to send messages to me like “Thank you Mom, I love you from the bottom of my heart!” and “Mom, I love you. I have the greatest parents in the world!”. Nice enough. Knowing what we have gone through, it could be classified as a miracle.
I say this to first expose my love for reading and writing poetry. Poetry has been my therapy. From dealing with domestic abuse, corporate abuse, self-abuse and with other afflicted to dealing with growing pains, parenting, unrequited love and the search for enhanced self-love, poetry has been the vehicle that God speaks to me.
Like the songs, hymns and psalms, poetry has ministered to me and given me strength to challenge my convictions. Poems have taught me. Poems have consoled me. Poetry has blazed a path for me where no mortal could walk.
I have expressed this over the years from writing in Slam books and creating raps and songs inspired by the first fruits of HIP HOP to corporate letters, essays and technical documents, to my first pieces of spoken word, to my interactions with this blog, poetic asides and all of the fellow griots, poets, artists and talented musicians . I feel whole when my creative energies can be focused on a collective collaboration. Ask me why the collaboration is so important. Go ahead. Unfortunately for you, I have no answer. Fortunately for me, I exercise my passions and have the basic tools, education and experiences to appreciate my own efforts.
This conclusion brings me full circle to my blog topic for today. My topic was an extension of yesterday. I concluded yesterday with committing to research the existential anxieties of those suffering loss like the foreclosed homeowners, laid off workers and their leadership to the existential crisis of the Republican Party, and National Fist Bump Day. I passed it on an bumped fists. Did you?
The existentialism of our American culture is hard to blog about. Agnotistic and Atheists have it easy. They are responsible and accountable for their OWN actions. The religious folk and in particular the ‘religious right’ preach responsibility and accoutability, but drive dysfunctional parent-child relationship control. The result is ‘Paternalism Gone Wild!’. That, of course, is a different blog topic. What is interesting is that the longer that I consistently blog and write poetry, the more I learn that I have an endless supply of inspirational material. NOW, I KNOW HOW COMEDIANS EAT!
I have reached my 500 word daily goal and am not ready to increase the goal, so be prepared to take on poetry, ‘Paternalism Gone Wild!’, existentialism (existential anxieties/existential crisis), adult/corporate dysfunction, Agnostic and Atheists, and the 1970s Conspiracy Theories that dominated the Oakland, CA scene when I was growing up. See you tomorrow! Catch me on Facebook, Poetic Asides, and commenting at my favorite blog spots, including The Kitchen Table blog, WSJ, Newsweek, and any articles that deal with poetry workplace issues, discrimination, the GWB Depression, the Silent Depression or Oppositional Defiant Disorders. Read up on me tomorrow!
Take YOUR (Republican) Empathy and Shove It!
From http://partnerpage.google.com/toshibadirect.com it said:
Today, “Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money. – Jules Renard”
Sad, but true.
Since this is the case and well, quite frankly, I am sitting here freelancing in my sweatpants thankful that I really am happy. Being happy, I am able to peruse ideas, stories, rumors and poems that cross my path. I am able to dissect and analyze at will.
Because my career status, party affiliation and my teenaged son have gone through this extensively, it leaves me to leisurely play guilt-free (albeit homeless) arm-chair quarterback and life coach. As I look around, I find humor in self, my inner and outer circles and the world in general. From generational curse to generation x to existential anxiety of foreclosed homeowners and laid off workers and their leadership to the existential crisis of the Republican Party, I am thoroughly entertained on a daily basis.
Looking at the Republican Party, today for example, I have examined it thoroughly and can whole heartedly laugh at today’s headlines. Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels says ‘Empathy can revive the Republican party’ (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/03/indiana-governor-empathy_n_211053.html). Now, didn’t they (lead by Southern Republican Party Speaker, Karl Rove) just slam POTUS for looking for the ‘E’ word in a SCOTUS nominee (see http://www.slate.com/id/2218103/, http://www.texasgop.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=9857&news_iv_ctrl=1402)? I have empirically, yes, objectively examined the global or top level perspective. I have analyzed my conservative friends, acquaintances and indirect associates. What I am finding (and the study is still in progress) is that neither level cares very much about being empathic to an individual or to a cause that wasn’t passed down with Great-Grandma’s china. Republicans (and elite Dems) gain the perception of power through making me and those like me feel uncomfortable via directly offending, being patronizing or just generally disappointing me.
Since January and the election of Token Steele, I have contemplated being part of the Republican Revolution. I have embraced the conversation of supporting Republican political candidates. I have networked with my Republican friends, and basically, I feel they have given me the proverbial middle finger. As I fell victim to the American and world economy, I was made to feel like a helping hand was welfare, a helpmeet was socialism and any other help was simply un-American (Genesis 2:18). As my economic decline continued, my Republican comrades pointed me in the “right direct”, then took a seat in the balcony to watch the show. Whereas they preached that the Christian way lead to prosperity, they communicated disdain and contempt for the least of us. Now, out of desperation, many of them are beginning to preach tolerance, inclusion and empathy. WOW. I think I will keep my front row seat and refill my popcorn (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&hs=A4L&q=Republican+laughing+stock+popcorn&btnG=Search&aq=f&oq=&aqi=)!
Regarding the existential anxiety of those suffering loss, come back tomorrow!!!
Commitment to Self Follow-up
Today, I am really proud of myself. I am writing daily, blogging and posting at favored blogs. I am also writing poetry consistently. I have several projects going, but keep being inspired to start (and yes, finish) new inspiration. Most of my draft work is on-line, but I have quite a few pieces that I am keeping to myself. I am looking to publish my first piece. As this is a goal that I cannot control, I must work on the goal within my control, that is to submit work to publishing entities. I am looking for my first NO ENTRY FEE submission spot. Pray for me…..
In the mean time, I have posted/commented on several opinion articles on-line. The one that I most consistently have learned to comment on is listed below. Today, I posted in response to a post at http://princetonprofs.blogspot.com/ by Dr. Yolanda, today:
The irreconcilable differences could be another reason for the the lower growth percentage (1.32%) of Christianity and the higher percentage growth (1.84%) of the Muslim religion (World Christian Database 2000-2005). Some who say they are followers of Christ are just as “terroristic” and “evil” as other religious “extremists”.
Thank you for sharing this post. It is nice to know that one educational institution in America has lived up to the expectations of “higher learning” and “critical thought” and uniting by seeking and celebrating similarity.
Regarding your topic, I wrote a poem titled ‘Don’t You Miss Your Chance’ that was inspired by ‘The Opposable Mind’, a leadership book by Roger L. Martin and the 2009 Notre Dame Commencement address (President Obama and speaker who introduced President Obama)
It is found at http://blog.writersdigest.com/poeticasides/CommentView,guid,37176ee8-e861-452e-9f92-183708b9dde7.aspx#commentstart
Notre Dame Commencement Sunday,
May 17, 2009
Nikki Griffith
June 2, 2009 7:51 PM
On another note, don’t forget that June 3 is National Fist Bump Day! http://www.jackandjillpolitics.com/2009/06/celebrate-national-fist-bump-day/
Myth, Interrupted
OK, I went and posted again. This time at http://www.newsweek.com/id/200019/output/comments/page/2. This Sotomayer nomination and her stated perspective are really getting already angry, bald white males even more angry. I read a great quote once. It said,“…the white men will be in a fix pretty soon!” – s. truth, 1851
It looks like soon has come. Open your eyes (unidentified male/unidentified female) and look at the facts. 80/20 rule applies here. How many times have you seen a less than ideal white male or female candidate get a job, promotion over the most qualified candidate because of “who they know”? That is code for being in the “good ole boy network”. Get out of denial.
I have never seen a minority receive a position they were not qualified for in 25 years. I have seen more minorities being the better prepared, formally educated, more experienced, yet denied career opportunities in spite of the less than perfect Affirmative Action “laws”. The Affirmative Action “laws” and policies have mostly benefit white women (your mothers, wives, neighbors and daughters).
I have seen hundreds of white candidates being trained by the female or black subject matter expert and not being able to manage themselves “out of a brown paper bag”. They bombed projects and cost the company’s millions of dollars. They were promoted to levels of greater incompetence. There are numerous accounts of thousands of individuals remaining silent out of fear of “economic lynching”, despite routinely witnessing blatantly illegal hiring and promotion practices. PLEASE look at your own career and see how you treated the “only minority in the room”. How did you treat the candidates that violated everything that your grandparents and parents told you about blacks, hispanics, asians and women? How did you support the minority candidate that was better than you, with open arms? I doubt it. How integrated are your social circles? Who comes to your home and who do you eat lunch with?
Many of your arguments are the same structured discussions that citizens held when slavery was under scrutiny, our constitution was amended to improve suffrage rights and when anti-lynching campaigns were implemented. American institutions are historically known for making the rules then being able to bend the rules or better for being able to bypass the processes in place are destroying the fabric of America. Stop using Affirmative Action as a soapbox.
For the infractions that keep being pointed out, it is a fraction of the less than 20 percent of failure in all laws, policies and practices. More than 80% of the success of America is our ability to rise above the petty arguments of “what about me” to seeing where true change is needed to benefit the American Society. It is ridiculous to even talk about the inferiority of test scores and performance until the playing field is leveled. That argument was the same one used to point out inferiority of black slaves while contemplating emancipation.
Imagine where AMERICA would be if individuals like Mrs. Kelley remained silent over the last 400 years. Now imagine an America where two opposing thoughts can respectfully occupy the minds of Americans with God’s grace and mercy. Go to church (if that is what you need), learn your American History (the correct version) and take a course in political science before you stand on the stupid argument against Affirmative Action when talking about elite leadership.
Mrs. Kelley’s article simply states a perspective that not just about the first African-American president or the first Hispanic Supreme Court Justice. White male dominance and paternalism can be overcome. It takes a lot of wasted energy. How about putting focus on learning about a perspective other than your own before you comment on a blog, insult a writer and the reader audience. Being an American gives us all the right to have opposing views. The line of respect needs to be maintained. There are other cyberspaces and brick & mortar spots to find individuals who agree with your narrow-minded perspectives.
I don’t write publicly on my blog very often, but I had to write about this at my intermittent blog at authentiqueniche.wordpress.com, key-word Myth, Interrupted.
“…the white men will be in a fix pretty soon!” – s. truth, 1851
Positive Outlook on Life despite the Hype
I just posted at https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4833013880491665679&postID=6274444976927777095&page=1
My 15-year-old son was “dragged” to the annual National Coalition of 100 Black Men of Omaha Gala last night for primarily the points presented. I have him in African-American sponsored fraternal mentoring activities for to counter-act the negative stereotypes that even I sometimes unconsciously and with guilty perpetuate. I support the NAACP and Urban League for exactly the same reason. These organization do not promote a separatist, segregationist system, but satisfies a yearning for a more fair, civilized society by shedding positive light on black males and their good works.
Organizations and institutions full of positive black males must be uplifted, encouraged and supported to our youth by an integrated, positive. Church cannot be the only place anymore that young black males see groups of black males in constructive, uplifting activities. It was refreshing to see the visible presence of elite white males who understand this importance of ending demeaning treatment of undeserving black male. If only their subordinates were not threatened by a world where people of color are not purposely criminalized and marginalized, where would America be?
May 31, 2009 12:40 PM
Self-Commitment to Excellence
I just had to comment on a post at http://www.newsweek.com/id/200019. It is titled “The Myth of the Affirmative-Action Fairy”, by Raina Kelley. I will have to add her to my ever-growing list of writers to inspire to be like.
POSTED:
Posted By: niche11 @ 05/31/2009 11:21:34 AM
“Allowing a few qualified contenders who are neither white nor male is not going to destroy the fabric of American life. In fact, the opposite is true. It is time for our hallowed institutions to look like the country it works for. And can I just add, white males have gotten the jobs over at the Supreme Court 96 percent of the time. That’s nothing to be ashamed of ??? seriously, you guys are doing really well. Don’t misunderstand me, I like white men???I even married one???but the assumption that they’re naturally the best candidate for everything, and we’re doing anyone else a favor if we give them a desirable job is a bit much.”
Great, yet underestimated quote.
Understand for all of the high level, media-focused jobs, that the “Affirmative Action Fairy” may sprinkle “fair dust” over, discrimination never ceased. As a matter of fact, resistances to the Affirmative Action and Equal Opportunity Efforts have created a great divide in the American Workforce. Workers and lower-level leadership have their potential, expectations and commitment to excellence crushed routinely. Under the egos of unprofessional, uneducated, undisciplined “white males”, placed in positions ahead of educated experienced, intellectually superior, business-savvy white females and people of color, INNOVATION and CREATIVITY are held hostage. The term Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity was only used because common sense was never applied by white males in charge. When all things being equal, chose the candidate with diversity of EXPERIENCE, not skin color. EVERYONE knows when a candidate is the best candidate for the job and when the candidate is a less than ideal choice or chosen because of an “ism”. Stop focusing on the excuses and look at the facts. Unfair treatment and even hazing is status quo by skin color and gender, diversity of EXPERIENCE has always been the ultimate goal to prevent the “silos”, “group think” and “yes, man” effects. Google the items in quotes.
I don’t write publically on my blog very often, but I had to write about this at my intermittent blog at authentiqueniche.wordpress.com, key-word self-commitment to excellence.
Now back to the article discussion.
Kelley, as a woman and an African-American, has spoken for the silent, experienced, master’s level educated entry-level worker who, due to the current employment status is regulated to fight for entry level employment with the felons, welfare mothers and habitually unemployed. She, and I do say she, has to fight at this level because the glass ceiling has transitioned into concrete and through some unnatural feat has now become a Kevlar, bullet-ridden ceiling with the old-school trap-doors that have been in place since the founding of this great country. Got Map though the trap doors?
Don’t believe the hype! The credit for the fall of the economy and the downgrading of the world is on the shoulders of those at the top. As the ability to turn things around , as one latin american leader (Brazilian President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva) put it, rely upon those doing the best to not take on protectionist measures (March 26, 2009). While pointing to all in the upper elitist echelons, it was a statement that although true, is hard to stomach if the finger points at you. See http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123673753221191161.html (by John Lyons at john.lyons@wsj.com/others by JOHN LYONS and DAVID LUHNOW) and Financial Times article by Jonathan Wheatley on March 27, 2009 http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/ae4957e8-1a5f-11de-9f91-0000779fd2ac.html?nclick_check=1
By allowing unqualified contenders who are white and male is definitely destroying the fabric of America. Really it is time for ALL institutions to look like the country. Dumb dominance and elitist exclusion have destroyed civilizations throughout history. Understand for all of the high level, media-focused jobs, that the “Affirmative Action Fairy” may sprinkle “fair dust” over, discrimination never stopped and is embedded throughout our institutions. Small business, decentralization and restructuring have become the “black” code words for “plantation-like command and control leadership”. There are millions of jobs that are handed to white males without qualifications and experience over qualified, better educated, more experience women and people of color. I have seen it and done studies about it. Why isn’t the alternative MSM reporting their own successes at keeping the “good ole boy network” intact despite the fact that, and I repeat, “Allowing a few [unqualified] contenders who are white and male is going to destroy the fabric of American life.” Justl ook at the world’s collapse of the economic system. Blame it on injustice, not any residual effect that is the result of institutionalized divisive injustice.
Commitment
Yesterday was my birthday. I had a great day over all. I helped my friends plan their events, worked to enjoy the day in peace and was able to share a glass of wine with people who truly love me. The only downside was the usual argument triggered by disappointment of my mother. She says she married the wrong guy (43 years ago, after dating him for years prior) and it still haunts her. My birth is not a celebration of life, but a chance to memorialize her perceptions of her poor (not really) choices in life.
Although I divorced several years ago, I remained committed to raising the child from my marriage with the committed efforts of his father. We never gave up on our family. My son’s conception and birthday are two of the greatest blessings of my life. We had been married for five years when he was born. We owned a home, cars and had a pretty stable life. Things deteriorated between us as a couple, but we committed to being devoted parents in partnership for our son and his other children. I am one of the lucky ones.
My son’s father has turned out to be an excellent dad, father and role model for his children. He is a good husband to his second wife and a terrific grandfather. I know that he is many of these things because he has great praying parents and grandparents and of course a praying ex-wife and son. I know that he is a great dad because he chooses to be and God has blessed him for his choices.
On my birthday, both son and father helped me to look at my birth as a celebration. They let me know that I was a great mom. I received calls, hugs and text messages from my son’s friends, my friends and family. The communication was the best present that I could have received. Although less than one week after Mother’s Day, this reiteration was especially touching. My son is learning to be a man from his dad, grandfathers, uncles and other males in the community. My son’s dad is truly a great dad who is teaching my son the importance of appreciating the people in our lives, the importance of relationships over things and the importance of standing strong in the face of challenges and adversity.
As with many dads, the rearing of children is shaped by the mother’s role. If the mother is committed to be the end all to all things to her child, dads take a back seat and let mom drive. The beauty is when mother commits to being the best mother she can be and holds the father accountable to the commitment to be the best father he can be. Although I have not done as well as I would like to in other areas of commitment, I am glad that I committed to my child and his father to support and maintain our roles and responsibilities. Despite divorce and healing from domestic violence, I am glad that I remained committed to the health and longevity of our family.
What Next?
There is a saying that my son says when things aren’t quite right. So, now I am wondering, what’s next? Last Friday, was the beginning of the last weekend of my suffering. I found out that although I had payment available and was prepared to make it, my storage unit with all of my possessions of the past 40 years had been auctioned off. Keep in mind that I have only worked a total of the last 15 months. After a twenty-five year work history, no relationship or drug catastrophes, all that I was passing down to my son from our life (including baby memories, my marriage and high school memories and other records) now has been sold to the highest bidder or trashed in the name of procedure and process.
I feel like once again, a trailblazer for paths that others are destined to take. One sister friend spoke to me on Mother’s Day about me having a “testimony” about being able to smile and serve in the face of adversity, about being a role model for others. My teenage son, yes a promising African-American male, declared how material possessions are nothing without great parents and he is blessed with the best Mommy and Daddy in the world. My mother is healthy, my father is healthy. I have a job, friends and am surrounded by people who love me. Although each of these individuals has been devastated by the economy, workplace issues, health problems and other ailments of the human condition, each in his or her own way keep me from falling in to the despair of alcoholism, drug or sexual abuse and the like. Each community service effort, each job interview, each application, each favor each help me keep moving forward despite, my job (layoff), car (stolen), home (foreclosed), household goods (storage unit auctioned off) being gone. Each small catastrophe reminds me of the ordeal of dealing with cancerous tissues, miscarriage, infertility, death and other questions of mortality and keeps me striving to the end of the race.
When I die, as we all will, I want to be known for my fortitude and grace in the midst of consistent crisis. I want it to be told that all though I wanted to give up on my career, my family and just exist, I held on. I persisted to reclaim a vitality and fullness of life that is measured not by material wealth of yesterday and today, but by the potentialities of the gift of tomorrow.
